Hello!
It’s been about a month since we went to Bali, and life has returned to “normal.” Cole’s routine of naps, play, eating, and sleeping is back on track. Dad’s got a full schedule of work. Mom’s doing her thing AS usual. Eleven is being annoying, AS usual (but we love it). All of the things we were doing before are going on post-Bali, but something has changed for me mentally.
Pre-Bali life I was caught in constant tension, where I felt I was racing the clock. Complete a task, mentally check it off, and move to the next one on the list. From the moment I woke up, to the time I went to bed I felt the pressure to stay productive. Even scheduling in break times and telling myself “you have 1 hour to chill,” had me looking at the clock so much I never actually “chilled.”
I’ve lived in Korea for a long time, almost 10 years. It’s a country known for it’s fast pace productive output. It’s a hard thing to describe, so if you’re curious about what I’m talking about look up “bbali bbali Korea,” and you’ll see what I mean (It has no connection to the place Bali, Indonesia. Ha.) This hyperfocus on moving through life quickly is hard not to succomb to. Over the years I’ve quit taking time to “stop and smell the flowers” so to speak. In the end I’ve just plain lost joy in my life. The balancing act of raising a new born/toddler, work, and self-care feels damn near impossible. How do you do it?!
Bali feels like a reset on life views for me. Somehow, I have the same responsabilities and time in the the day, but I move slower and worry about the clock less. Most importantly, I’m trying to find joy in the day.
Post-Bali has been a reawakening to my creativity and love for exploring new ideas. I still feel over-whelmed, but It’s definetly more “balanced.” I can see that I’m paying attention to Cole, more focused at work, and I’m actually exercising again. As cliché as it sounds, ultimately, I’m deciding to be present in the moment and worrying less about the clock.
Here are some moments from out time on vacation. Check’em out!
